All About Progressive Muscle Relaxation from a Massachusetts Anxiety Therapist

Hello! I’m Bronwyn, an anxiety counselor. There are plenty of tactics and tools to help you decrease and manage your anxiety. My advice is to try the ones you’re interested in, and see which ones work the best for you. It might be tempting to try to find “the best anxiety coping strategy.” My experience as a therapist tells me that there is not one best coping method or anxiety coping skill. You simply have to dig in and see what works best for you. While you’re digging, you may want to consider what’s underneath your anxiety. There’s always something, and being able to understand it can do wonders for decreasing how much anxiety you feel. 

So on to one of the many excellent tools for reducing your anxiety: Progressive Muscle Relaxation.

What is Progressive Muscle Relaxation?

Progressive Muscle Relaxation, sometimes called PMR, was developed by psychiatrist and physician Edmund Jacobson, MD, in the early 1900’s in the United States. The theory was that your mind isn’t anxious if your body is relaxed. And research backs that up! Studies show that PMR is effective in reducing both anxiety and depression. 

It involves intentionally tensing and releasing different muscle groups throughout your body. Doing this creates a sense of deep relaxation. Typically, working from your head to your feet or the other way around is how it’s done. For example, you could start with your toes, followed by your feet, calves, thighs, and all the way up to your face. 

How do you do Progressive Muscle Relaxation?

You’ll get the most benefit from PMR the more often you do it, ideally every day. Some people do it upon waking up, others at bedtime. Typically it takes about 20-30 minutes from start to finish. There are lots of guided Progressive Muscle Relaxation videos on youtube. You can try them out and see which ones you like best.

When you break it down, here are six steps to follow to practice Progressive Muscle Relaxation:

How to do PMR Step 1: Breathe

Begin your practice by taking a few deep belly breaths. This tells your body and mind that it’s time to slow down. Breathing is also something to remember to do throughout the practice. Your impulse is going to be to hold your breath when you tense your muscles. Whenever you find yourself doing this, just take a breath and keep breathing as evenly as possible. 

How to do PMR step 2: Choose a muscle group to start with

Start with your head or your feet. I like to start with my feet. You can flex them and point them. You can experiment with what size group of muscles feels best. You can try tensing just your toes, or just your forehead. You can also tense your entire foot, or your entire leg, and your whole face.

How to do PMR step 3: Tense the muscle group

You want to tense them enough to feel it, but not so much that it hurts. Definitely stop if you feel any pain. My recommendation is to start with less tension and move to more gradually. That helps your body assess what it’s ready for. 

Hold the tension in each muscle group for 7-10 seconds. Keep breathing while holding the tension.

How to do PMR step 4: Release the tension in your muscles

After 7-10 seconds, let go of the tension you’ve been holding. Try to let it out all at once, not gradually. Do this on an exhale.

How to do PMR step 5: Repeat tensing and releasing with all your muscle groups

For example: feet, calves, thighs, glutes, abdomen, lower back, upper back, hands, arms, neck, and face. Some people like to do bigger groups like both legs and feet all at once. Some guided Progressive Muscle Relaxation prompts will have you tense all the muscles of your body at once at the end. 

How to do PMR step 6: Take a few more deep breaths

When you’re finished tensing and releasing, take a few more deep belly breaths. Notice any sensations in your body like tingling or heat. Thank your body for doing this exercise with you.

When should I avoid doing Progressive Muscle Relaxation?

The only contraindication for PMR is injury, according to Dr. Edmund Bourne, author of The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. (Yes, he shares the same first name as the creator of Progressive Muscle Relaxation! And he includes a pretty comprehensive section on PMR in his book.) You should avoid tensing any areas of the body that have been injured. Beyond that, make sure you pay very close attention to your body and the signals it’s giving you. If you have any TMJ symptoms for example, I would recommend not clenching your jaw during PMR. You know your body the best. Use your PMR practice as another opportunity to listen to it.

What if I don’t like being told to relax?

I’ve never met anyone who likes being told to relax! It is dismissive and invalidating.

If you’re feeling anxious, your anxiety is real. Simply being told to relax often makes things worse. So how are you supposed to practice Progressive Muscle Relaxation when most of the guided PMR prompts are telling you to relax? Change the script to one that works for you. 

There are lots of guided Progressive Muscle Relaxation videos on youtube. Many of them use the word “release” instead of “relax.” Alternatively, you can record yourself with a script using whatever word or words you like best. Try “soften,” “melt,” or “dissolve” in place of “relax” as well. The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook has a great script for Progressive Muscle Relaxation in Chapter 3 that you can use. 

I hope you find Progressive Muscle Relaxation to be a useful practice to help decrease your overall anxiety. Remind yourself that changes don’t happen overnight. Dealing with your anxiety will take time. Even small steps can make a big difference. 

About the Author

Owner of Bronwyn Shiffer Psychotherapy, I love supporting women and Highly Sensitive People to decrease their anxiety.

Based in Madison, WI, I provide online therapy throughout Wisconsin. I’m also a Massachusetts anxiety counselor providing telehealth therapy throughout Greater Boston and Massachusetts. I’m also licensed in the District of Columbia and offer virtual therapy in Washington, DC. In addition to therapy for anxiety, I also offer depression counseling and HSP therapy.