How to use your High Sensitivity to Cope with HSP Depression: Four Steps from an HSP Therapist
For Highly Sensitive people, the experience of depression, like most things, is amplified. HSP depression can amplify feelings of powerlessness, invalidation, and rumination. Yet, as a Highly Sensitive person, you have the ability to use your inherent traits to remind yourself of your power, the validity of your needs, and your ability to shore yourself up.
Because, as an HSP, you have an advantage over non-HSPs.
You have the ability to take in so many details. Research shows that Highly Sensitive people have a more active insula than non-HSPs. Yes, this can create a lot of overstimulation. On the flip side, it gives you intricate awareness of not only your surroundings, but yourself and your inner life.
I’m Bronwyn, therapist for Highly Sensitive people and women. I want you to know that you have what you need to cope with HSP depression. Read on to find more about why, and to get practical steps you can take to start.
Three tips to help you cope with HSP depression
In coping with HSP depression, you will draw on tools that anyone can use to feel better. You’ll also use some specific strategies to address the fact that as an HSP, depression is amplified for you.
Tip #1 in using your High Sensitivity to cope with HSP depression:
Make sure you understand what you need as a Highly Sensitive Person
Even without depression, HSPs have different brains, and as a result, different needs than non-HSPs. Learning about what these HSP needs are is the first step in cutting down on the amplification of any depression. HSPs need more downtime, more sleep, and solid boundaries, for starters. Protecting your time can feel daunting even on a good day. Instead of setting an unattainable goal for downtime, try carving out just five minutes for yourself in a day to close your eyes and be alone. Starting small like this will make it more manageable.
Try carving out just five minutes for yourself in a day to close your eyes and be alone.
As you start to feel the benefit of taking even this small amount of time, your brain will go into creative mode to find ways for you to get more! Once you’re feeling more energetic, you might find Elaine Aron’s Highly Sensitive Workbook helpful to take a deep dive into honoring your HSP self.
Tip #2 in using your High Sensitivity to cope with HSP depression:
Notice your signs of depression
We get a lot of messages from society that tell us to make the depression go away. It might feel like the goal is to never experience depression. In the moment, it can feel easier to shove aside the painful feelings that are coming up when you’re depressed. Sometimes it’s necessary to avoid the emotions just to get through the day. In the long run though, depression won’t go away until you have a space to feel those feelings and understand what they are telling you.
The first step in listening to your signs of depression is to name your emotions. Be as patient as possible with yourself on this one. It’s common that as a Highly Sensitive Person, you may have been given the message that emotions are to be ignored. It will take time to feel comfortable and capable in naming your feelings. You can start with general categories like angry or sad. From there you can get more nuanced and clarify whether you’re feeling empty, powerless, or disappointed.
Tip #3 in using your High Sensitivity to cope with HSP depression:
Listen to what depression might be telling you
You have probably been taught how to put together the signs of dehydration. If you’re feeling a headache, fatigue, and dizziness, you might be reminded that you need a glass of water. Similarly, we can also put together feelings of isolation, depletion, or irritation as signaling a need for something. One of the differences between the signs of dehydration and depression is that it is more complex to look at your emotions. But as an HSP, you do complex really well! It’s what you’re built for.
Part of what moves people through depression is noticing what they are experiencing and then figuring out what it’s telling them. As an HSP, you can do this especially well because you are an expert at noticing things. Remember your highly-developed insula? The part of your brain that takes in information about what is happening internally and around you? Use that to your advantage! Make yourself and your depression the thing that you are giving your exquisite attention to.
You don’t have to get it “right.” You just have to pay attention. And you are great at paying attention. The more you set your intention to pay attention to yourself, the more you will notice. It won’t all make sense at first. In fact, it will likely be pretty frustrating at times. But the longer you stick with it, the more connections you will make. Over time, you will understand yourself better. Understanding yourself better will help you get your needs met, which is part of what can decrease your depression.
Where to start in using your High Sensitivity to cope with HSP depression?
Here are four more specific steps you can take:
Name what you are feeling
Assess what gave you energy today
Assess what depleted you today
Take note of the things that are comforting to you
Step #1 in using your High Sensitivity to cope with HSP depression:
Name what you are feeling
Contrary to popular belief, it’s impossible to control what you are feeling. However, it can help to make emotions less scary by naming what you are feeling. Simply ask yourself, What am I feeling right now? The important piece here is to avoid judging the answer.
Step #2 in using your High Sensitivity to cope with HSP depression:
Assess what gave you energy and what depleted you today
It doesn’t have to be an essay. Just see where your mind goes. What gave you energy might be the book you read to your 6-year-old. Maybe it was the five-minute break you took to savor a piece of chocolate and close your eyes in between zoom meetings. If different wording is helpful, you can ask yourself, When did I feel most at home today? What gave me joy? When was I uncomfortable? What irritated me? Think of it as a daily mental health mini-assessment (bonus: this practice helps burnout recovery!).
Step #3 in using your High Sensitivity to cope with HSP depression:
Take note of the things that are comforting to you
Here’s where you have another advantage over non-HSPs. Sensory comforts are more comforting! As a Highly Sensitive Person, you might notice how intensely - and negatively - you react to things like loud music and the neighbor’s dryer sheets. With depression, you want to flip this around. Take advantage of the fact that you respond more intensely to all the sensory things. What textures are soothing to you? Maybe it’s a cashmere sweater, or your softest blanket, or the fur under your cat’s ear. What music calms you down? What are your favorite smells?
These are all things that can help anyone who is struggling with depression. And they are things that you are particularly good at because of your High Sensitivity and ability to notice and reflect.
What is one way you can support yourself in embarking on this great task of using your High Sensitivity to move through your depression?
About the Author
I’m an HSP therapist who founded Bronwyn Shiffer Psychotherapy to support women and HSPs. I love helping people cope with HSP depression. I’ve been interviewed by Lourdes Viado, PhD on the topic. I’ve written about the HSP advantage in coping with depression on LinkedIn.
In addition to therapy for Highly Sensitive People and counseling for depression, I also provide anxiety therapy. Based in Madison, WI, I provide online therapy throughout Wisconsin, telehealth therapy in Massachusetts, and virtual therapy in Washington, DC.
Interested in more support for coping with HSP depression?