Feeling Burned Out? Here’s what to do from a Massachusetts Anxiety Counselor
It’s all too common that you might find yourself feeling burned out. Dreading going to work, irritated at the drop of a hat, finding solace in binge watching tv rather than nature or your friends. You might feel numb, distracted, or insignificant.
I’m Bronwyn, a Massachusetts anxiety therapist. (I also provide anxiety counseling throughout Wisconsin and Washington, DC.) If you’re feeling burned out, there are steps you can take! Here are three strategies you can employ:
Engage in a simple daily burnout reflection
Put together an in depth plan to address your burnout
Keep remembering the opposite of burnout and how you want to feel
Feeling burned out strategy #1: Know your limits
There are many causes of burnout, one of which is overextending yourself. Overextending yourself includes not only ignoring your own limits but also not knowing what your limits are in the first place. Women are especially prone to not having a sense of their own limits because we are socialized to believe we shouldn’t have any. One way to buck the patriarchy is to get in touch with what your needs are!
There’s a simple exercise to help you get a better understanding of your own limits. Simply ask yourself the following two questions every day:
What gave me energy today?
What depleted me today?
The act of reflecting on your highs and lows in this way can help increase your clarity about what works for you and what doesn’t. You can write down your answers if you want to, but you’ll still benefit even if you don’t. Simply asking yourself the questions gives your brain the opportunity to marinate on it, even at times when you’re not actively finding answers. Once you can better articulate what your limits are, you are more likely to be able to avoid crossing them. Staying within your limits is part of recovering from burnout when it hits. It also reduces your chances of burning out again.
Feeling burned out strategy #2: Make a long term burnout plan
There are three areas that I see as the heart of how to recover from burnout. These are processing your emotions, finding good support, and doing things you love. They overlap with each other, and don’t expect to get them all done at once. These are ongoing tasks, and open to revision.
Processing your emotions
Burnout happens because you’ve been too stressed for too long. Stress relief almost always involves finding a way to feel your feelings. This can take a number of forms. Many people keep a journal. Writing can be a great way to process what you’re experiencing. Some people create artwork. “Artwork” should be defined broadly! Anything from painting, collage, dance, singing or playing an instrument, photography, writing poetry - all of these activities can be done to help you feel your emotions.
Getting good support
Much of the support you need when you’re feeling burned out will be in the service of processing your emotions. Your emotions are telling you something, and they’ll keep showing up until you have heard and understood them. Journaling, creating artwork, and talking with friends can all support you in this endeavor. If it’s work burnout that you’re feeling, finding a trusted colleague or manager can help since they know more specifics about your job.
Therapy is a place you can bring all the feelings. It can be helpful because part of what helps heal your burnout is feeling your emotions like disappointment, fear and frustration with another person.
Therapy can also help you synthesize and articulate what your emotions are telling you.
Do the things you love
If it were as simple as just doing them, you would have done so already. This is just a reminder that often, when we’re burned out, the things that give us joy are the first to go. You won’t start doing all those things again right away. But you could start by making a list of what has fallen by the wayside, and trying to do at least one thing on the list. If you’re having trouble even finding things that you love to do, spend a little more time with the daily reflection question of what gave you energy. You can also ask yourself what gave you joy, or what nourished you. Phrasing it differently can give greater insights.
Feeling burned out strategy #3: Focus on what you want
Feeling burned out means not only that you’re uninspired, irritable and defeated. It also means you’re missing out on feelings that you want to feel. Feeling burned out means you’re not feeling flexible, curious, or fulfilled. Obviously it’s not as simple as willing yourself to feel a certain way. However, reminding yourself of the feelings you’re missing can be powerful. It’s similar to when you learn a new word and then see it everywhere. Keeping in mind the feelings that you want to replace the burnout with can help you find them. Focusing on the opposite of burnout can help move you away from feeling burned out.
Feeling burned out does not have to last forever
Moving past feeling burned out is not a quick endeavor. Make sure you start small.
What ideas from this list feel the most attainable right now?
Start right there. You’ll get there.
I’m an anxiety therapist who loves supporting women and Highly Sensitive people stop feeling burned out. I’ve been interviewed on the topic of what to do when you’re burned out at work and have provided burnout workshops for hospice staff.
Based in Madison, WI, I provide telehealth therapy for anxiety throughout Massachusetts including Somerville, Cambridge and Greater Boston, Worchester, Amherst and the Berkshires. I also offer online therapy in Wisconsin and virtual therapy in Washington, DC.
In addition to counseling for anxiety, I also provide therapy for depression and counseling for Highly Sensitive people. I received my Master in Social Work from Smith College School for Social Work and have worked in elementary school, outpatient and hospice settings prior to opening Bronwyn Shiffer Psychotherapy. Interested in more support to stop feeling burned out?